Please don't congratulate me.

I have always known that the general public does not view "Legal Aid" and it's ilk as being real law firms or the attorneys who work there as being real attorneys. I can't even count how many times I've been told by a client, "If I could hire a real attorney...." and they are not trying to be insulting! They say this with an apologetic tone of voice as though they are sorry to be bothering me.

Then there are other attorneys. At the beginning of my Legal Aid career I would get comments about Legal Aid "being a great first job," and "a good place to get experience." And I have been asked more than once about what I wanted to do after Legal Aid. All the while it never occurred to me that I would leave Legal Aid. I was always very insulted that other legal professionals discounted the work that we did and couldn't fathom that someone would be very dedicated to it as a career choice.

But now here I am. I'm leaving Legal Aid for the very reasons I swore I never would. And I'm receiving "congratulations," from all walks of life. My Legal Aid clients seem genuinely happy for me, other attorneys are "excited" for me and my friends and family think that it's a step up.

I can't help but think this is all about money. People equate success with money. I can't say that I'm totally immune to this belief. I am obnoxiously materialistic. When I crunched the numbers about what I could make annually in private practice.. I was sold. It was that easy. Granted it will not be as easy to actually MAKE that money, but it's there to make. I am excited by the prospect of making money and helping to get this family from under the specter of debt.

BUT I'm also saddened by the fact that the work done at Legal Aid is discounted based on how much we make. If Legal Aid attorneys made as much as government attorneys the job would be so much more respected. Then again, Public Defenders also get a bad rap. I guess if you are representing people who can't afford a private attorney, then you must be a shitty attorney, a bleeding heart liberal, or fresh out of law school.  I'm very proud of the work I've done at Legal Aid and it has really given me the foundation to move on and into the next phase of my legal career.

I don't think congratulations are necessarily in order. I haven't done anything congratulation worthy. I'm doing something different. That's all.

Why the holiday season is NOT the time to set up a new office..

Wow.  These next 4 weeks are just going to be insane. I am definitely rethinking the wisdom of trying to open a law practice over the holidays! I feels so stressed and panicked about how I am going to get it all done! I have incredible amounts of work to do before leaving my current position (which is piling up as I take the precious time to write this entry!). I really don't want to leave a shit-ton of work for my successor who also happens to be one of my very best friends..I'd like to keep that relationship intact! But oh MAN is it hard to focus.

I still like the idea of starting the new year totally fresh and on my own. If we forwent Christmas this year, this would totes doable and this blog entry would not be written. We just got through Hanukkah and now the real Christmas preparation begins! We've had our tree up for 4 days and it has about 1/20th of the ornaments up..sad state of affairs really. I can't even keep track of what presents I have for who! Hopefully we have the same number of presents for both kids or we are in deep doo-doo. Last year I was the shining example of holiday organization - had my gift app all up to date with information, budget etc.. this year is a free for all frenzy on Amazon.

So let me backtrack a tad and explain why things are crazier than they should be.

1. Ever since I got the harebrained idea that I should open my own solo law practice, that is pretty much all I think about.

2. While I have not been taking new cases, my old ones are not closing as quickly and cleanly as I thought they would.

3. My husband is quitting the family law component of his practice and referring all calls to me - so I'm actually getting cases and work. But when am I going to get that done?! So while it's heartening to know that I will be starting my solo venture with actual clients, I am having a difficult time spending adequate time on those cases.

Okay. So I have FOUR MORE WEEKS to try to get this together. I am no longer under any illusions that I will have a fully set up office come January 2, 2014. I will be stoked if the lights work and my Keurig is up and running. 

Making a Law Office

Okay I have to admit that when I decided to hang my own shingle, much of my initial excitement was at the prospect of decorating a new office!

In my current position furniture is handed down, passed over and if you're lucky, purchased with new grant money. My desk was a freebie from a closing bank. My file cabinets have been in this office for at least 30+ years (I did spray them all black so at least they matched!) and the shelves and lateral files were bought with grant money (per the grant!). So there is not a lot of creativity that goes into it. I haven't added many of my own touches because none of it is mine.

Now I get /haveto design and decorate an office (albeit small) from top to bottom. I'm working with a limited budget since I am trying to keep my start-up costs under $5000 (this includes EVERYTHING!) but unfortunately I have naturally expensive tastes. I love natural wood and organic shapes and textures. I had in mind a specific office design that included a lot of wood, natural fibers and some rustic qualities. Between Pinterest and several home decorating blogs I had some serious ideas - that involved buying used furniture and spending time and elbow grease to make it amazing. Then I had a dose of reality that said 1) I would NEVER get these projects done in time to open my office when I NEED to and 2) finding these used "gems" would be nearly impossible..so I somewhat forlornly left that idea behind.

Keep in mind I live on Kauai. We have a cuople furniture stores but they are very expensive and don't carry much in the way of office furniture. The only other options are Craigslist and Costco...neither of which are very fruitful here.

That left me with having to design an office online! I have spent countless hours online on every possible furniture site from Overstock.com to Pottery Barn. Many retailers are simply cost prohibitive due to the cost of shipping bulky items here. Ikea doesn't ship here all, which blows as that would have been the best of everything! After much soul searching and shopping cart creations, I settled on a set from CB2. It in no way meets my mental image of my office. So in that regard I'm a little disappointed. The prices were right, the shipping was incredibly cheap and ultimately I like the idea that is taking shape in my head. I'm hoping to find a way to balance the industrial look of the furniture with the natural fiber/organic look that I love.

So that is how my office grows. I have been slowly assembling the pieces of my office and see an office taking shape. So far my office inventory is as follows:

1. 2 desks (to create one long one or a "L" shaped one) - CB2
2. 2. console tables (to create a work space) - CB2
3. 2 drawer/file combos - CB2
4. 1 three shelf cart (may be for printer or other officey stuff) CB2
5. 2 visitor chairs (that need to be painted, re-wheeled, and covers made for the cushions) - Craigslist $5 each!
6. A Multi-function color printer - Costco.com
7. A monitor (that will plug into my laptop) - Costco.com
8. A Keurig and 2 Costco boxes of coffee pods (my most beloved item so far) - Costco
9. A wall clock -$2 from Ikea
10. 2 dog butt hooks -  Ikea
11. A 2 hole punch, file folders, labeler, file tabs... - Amazon.com

So as you can see, I'm getting there! Some other touches like plants, wall art, window shades, signs etc..will be determined when I actually am in the space..OH YEAH I do have a space too! It's a small room that needs paint, window coverings and a covering for the "closet" area.

Looking to the right from the door

Looking to the left from the door - note the weird "closet" space. Plan to put shelves in and use it for storage but need a "door" covering. May use a curtain..

The front! Super cute and will be even cuter with some potted plants and a sign 

Covered lanai in front of my office aka lunchroom!

Okay, so I'm excited about this. I love to organize a new space!

Justice for all

This past week I was confronted with my ambiguity about making this career change.

I attended the National Legal Aid and Defenders Association (NLADA) Conference in Los Angeles. I was an attendee as well as a presenter (La-ti-da I know!) I was surrounded with hundreds of like minded people for three days. I attended sessions on Race and Equality and funding for Family Law cases and Communicating with Clients. Riveting right?

I reminded me of how passionate I am about these issues. It made me realize just HOW much I'm going to feel like I'm selling out by leaving Legal Aid. Perhaps "selling out" is too harsh. Maybe it would be more accurate to say that I feel a sense of loss because I am stepping out of the fight for justice. I could feel myself being overcome with this feeling while at the conference. However, to my credit, I quickly shifted gears to trying to figure out how to stay in the fight while moving forward with my solo practice.

I will need to find some sort of balance. I will stay involved - I need to for my own sanity and feelings of self worth - the "how" of it remains to be seen. I will be having conversations with my current bosses to see what capacity I can help out in.

The other mental shift that will need to occur is to view paying clients as worthy of justice too. That's what all people are seeking when they hire an attorney (at least in my practice areas). And if they aren't - it's either my job to tell them this reality or refuse to assist them in their game of revenge or retribution.

This train can't be stopped!

Things are happening!

In the past week or so since my last post a few things have happened that make it appear that things are moving along nicely (albeit crazily).

I bought some stuff! Like for my new office! Okay, it should become abundantly clear that I ADORE office supplies and buying stuff - combine the two and I am in near heaven.

BUT I have to admit that pulling the trigger and committing to things like a Multi-Function Printer is scaring the bajeezus out of me. I keep adding one to my "shopping cart" only to take it back out again. I have read every review there is to read and still am having a difficult time.

Living in Hawaii, especially on Kauai, makes this all the more complicated because I basically have to order everything online. Unless Costco carries it, it comes from overseas. So, shipping costs need to be factored in as well. Case in point - my favorite little tabs used for dividing my files are about $3.50/package. So I happily put 5 packages in my shopping cart on Amazon.. shipping was over $50!!! Apparently a gold plated pegasus delivers it directly to your door .. I can find no other explanation.

So, that said, I'm left to pore over websites, online reviews and word of mouth recommendations. So it was quite a momentus moment when I bit the bullet and bought a MONITOR! I plan to plug it into my laptop once I read about 50 more reviews of those do-hickies that connect a Mac to a PC monitor..*sigh*

I also got a few more office supplies - files etc that make me feel almost legit.

In addition to this excitement, it was finally decided who would fill my position upon my departure! It's a bittersweet moment. It is very difficult for me to give up the reigns to what I consider "my" office. I have been here for 10 years, serving Kauai's underrepresented population. I have helped this office to become a respected agency and secured grants for various programs. I'm proud of what I and this office have accomplished. My worst fear is that this office will begin to lose it's reputation and cease to be invited to the table for discussions in our community. Now, I don't think my successor will be awful by any means, it's just that relinquishing control that I find so difficult. But now that my job has been given to someone else - the reality of my leaving has sunk in even more. It's almost brought a sort of peace to my mind  - like it's okay for me to start the letting go process now.

Finally, I signed up my first client! I think the referrals will roll in as word gets out that I'm taking private cases, but it's nice to have that first one, with the retainer sitting safely in a client trust account! I'm shocked at how quickly the billing adds up! I am beginning to see the earning potential in my new venture compared to my current employment. It's daunting and exciting at the same time..

Transitions

I am in this weird place between winding down one job and trying to start a new one. Now I guess we've all been in this position as far as leaving one job for another. However, my situation is made more complicated by the fact that when I leave my current position I need to START my new job, as in, start my business! I'm not going to a job that exists already and just filling that position. I AM the job. I AM the position.

Obviously, this requires quite a bit of planning and preparation -which in and of itself is rather fun. However, while I'm trying to continue carrying out the duties of my current job, this is quite difficult. Either I don't get the planning done or my current job suffers. I clearly have not mastered time management.

I have two and half months to get this figured out. My goals are to leave my position in good standing and without leaving a mess for my successor to clean up WHILE AT THE SAME TIME putting myself in the position to hit the ground running come January 1, 2014. Well actually January 2, because on 1/1/14 I will be comatose on the couch watching bowl game after bowl game.. preferably with guacamole.

Getting closer

I'm getting closer to actually launching this hair brained scheme..

Let me retrace my steps to better explain how I got to this point:

I went to law school to be a public defender. I had no intention of doing Family Law. I took that class in law school and thought it was interesting in the way that reading the sordid details of someone else's life is interesting - and discomforting. I also took Public Interest law and it sort of appealed to my bleeding heart liberalism. I definitely felt attorneys who chose that path were altruistic and comparable to public defenders. I didn't view myself as going into that area of law. I was more attracted to the adversarial nature (that I perceived) of criminal law, plus I was intrigued at the notion of loss of "liberty.

My new Law Office Logo - courtesy of Andre Cotrim!

So fast forward three years to post graduation and bar exam...I come visit my mom in Hawaii. At the time she was married to a person I am was not fond of. She was clearly unhappy in paradise. I determined that I should move here and help her obtain a divorce. So this motivation, along with several personal motivations, prompted me to move to Hawaii before I even knew if I had passed the bar in my home state. I applied for one job in Hawaii. Actually, I applied for one job out of law school. With the local Legal Aid agency - as a paralegal. It was the ONLY legal related job available on this island of 60,000.

Now, fast forward another ten years. I have been with this office the entire time. I went from being a paralegal working on disability cases to an Americorps Attorney doing all areas of civil law, to my current position as the managing attorney of the office. One interview, one place of employment for my entire legal career.

In late August I was running with a friend (running may be a bit of an exaggeration.. more of a jaunty walk) and talking about my employment issues. I love my job and feel that there is a lot more I could do in my position. However the compensation in the non-profit sector is dismal. This dismalness is made even more stark when one compares the rate of compensation to the never-shrinking law school debt. Add to this life events like kids, a house, family on the mainland.. and one is faced with a tough decision. Choose between continuing to do good work for people who would otherwise not have access to an attorney OR support your family. It's taken me ten years to get where I never thought I would be. But in that discussion with my friend, it was like a switch flipped and the decision was no longer agonizing. It seemed clear what I should do. And then I got excited.

So once the decision was made I went into full steam ahead mode. Set up a domain, got a website (still under construction), got my business license (admittedly, when I decided to start a "firm" I didn't think of it as starting a business..) and other necessary documents. I have a phone number - which used to be the number of an animal feed store that closed a couple years ago..and those are the only calls I've gotten so far.. I have a case management system, bank accounts and an online fax service.. I am for all intents and purposes READY!!

I also have an office space starting 1/114.. and 2 chairs.  I have some ways to go furniture and supplies wise.. (but I also just got a Costco Business Membership..so that's cool!).

I'm excited at the progress being made and I'm excited for my next challenge. I'm also scared to death. Failure is not an option.